No Crap Coffee: The Manifesto

The world is full of fake coffee. Airbrushed mugs. Celebrity endorsements. Influencer sludge that tastes like despair and marketing meetings.
We reject it. We burn it. We spit in its frothy, overhyped face.

We are No Crap Coffee.
We are straight-up, feral, strong, real coffee.
Beans that hit hard. Flavour that doesn’t beg for likes.
No compromises. No edits. No hype. No lies.

We do not cater to the polished, the posed, or the paid-to-smile.
We do not bow to influencers.
We do not kneel to brands.

We are chaos in a cup.
We are rebellion in a bag of beans.
We are the caffeine-fuelled uprising that ends the reign of crap.

Join us if you dare.
Drink it. Feel it. Survive it.
And remember:

Celebrity-endorsed garbage has no place here.
Influencer “specials” will burn in our wake.
Only real coffee survives.